If you’re going through a divorce in Arizona, you may feel like your world has been turned upside down. Everything familiar is changing—your home, finances, routines, and family structure. It’s natural to grieve the life and marriage you once had. But there is life after divorce. In fact, this difficult transition could be the start of an exciting new chapter.

While it may be hard to imagine now, many people build incredible lives post-divorce that are more fulfilling than their married years. Unshackled from an unhealthy relationship, they not only survive but thrive. Perhaps you’ll go back to school, change careers, take that bucket list trip, or pursue a passion that fell by the wayside during your marriage. The future is wide open and yours to create.

Of course, starting over isn’t easy, especially if you were married for many years. In a long-term marriage, your identity can become intensely intertwined with your spouse’s. You may have lost touch with who you are apart from your role as wife or husband. Confronting that loss of identity and life as you knew it is painful but necessary for moving forward.

So how do you do that? How do you begin to rebuild after the seismic disruption of divorce? While there’s no magic formula, there are some concrete steps you can take to ease the transition and set yourself up for post-divorce success. 

Grieve, But Don’t Get Stuck There 

First, give yourself permission to grieve. It’s essential to process the end of your marriage. Acknowledging the pain and loss is part of healing. Let yourself feel the gamut of emotions – sadness, anger, fear, maybe even relief. But be careful not to get stuck there. Process your feelings with a therapist, support group, or trusted friends, then work on accepting your new reality and shifting your focus forward.

Reconnect With Yourself

Rediscovering your identity outside of marriage is crucial. Marriage, especially if there are children, demands that we give huge parts of ourselves to others. In the process, we can disconnect from our needs, wants, dreams, and even our core selves.

Embrace this time to get reacquainted with yourself. What did you used to love to do that fell off the radar? What ignites your passions and brings you alive? Maybe it’s painting, traveling, sports, cooking, volunteering. Resurrect old hobbies and interests. Try new things you’ve always wanted to do. The more you plug into activities and pursuits that light you up, the more you’ll start to reclaim your sense of self.

Create a New Normal

Separation and divorce disrupt the patterns and rhythms of daily life. This is your chance to create new routines and traditions that reflect your desired life. Start small. Maybe it’s a morning coffee ritual in your new place, a weekly meet-up with friends, or Friday movie nights with your kids.

Look for opportunities to establish new norms that nurture you. Now that you’re no longer constrained by your former spouse’s preferences, how do you want to spend your time and organize your days? Gradually, your new routines will form the scaffolding of your new life.

Set Goals For The Future

Looking forward is one of the best antidotes to being stuck in the pain of the past. Spend some time envisioning what you want your post-divorce life to look like. What are your short-term and long-term goals? Maybe you want to get fit, advance your career, buy a home, or fall in love again.

Research shows that setting goals boosts well-being and provides a sense of purpose and direction. Put your goals in writing. Break them down into manageable steps. Celebrate milestones along the way. Having a roadmap for the future generates hope and positive anticipation, even amid the difficulties of divorce.

Establish Your Independence

Starting over means standing on your own two feet, many for the first time in years. Embrace independence as a chance to decide what you want and live on your own terms. That may include learning to manage finances solo, making new friends, or taking on tasks your former spouse used to handle.

Independence can feel scary at first if you’re used to being part of a couple. When making decisions, you may secretly look around for your spouse to weigh in before remembering it’s all on you now. But over time, making your own choices will feel empowering. Building self-sufficiency and proving you can depend on yourself is a potent confidence booster.

Work With a Divorce Lawyer 

The legal decisions made during divorce can have far-reaching effects on your financial and emotional well-being for years to come. That’s why it’s so important to work with an experienced Arizona divorce attorney who understands the nuances of the law and the art of negotiating favorable settlements.

A good divorce lawyer in Tempe will fight for your best interests in key areas like spousal support, division of assets and debts, child custody, and child support. They’ll help secure your financial future by ensuring you get your fair share of retirement accounts, investments, real estate, and other assets accrued during the marriage.

Your divorce attorney will also counsel you on decisions that could impact your life for decades, like whether to keep or sell the family home. If there are children involved, your divorce lawyer will work to establish custody and visitation arrangements that protect your parental rights and your kids’ wellbeing.

Trying to navigate complex divorce legal issues alone, especially when you’re emotionally vulnerable, can result in costly mistakes. Having a skilled divorce attorney in Tempe in your corner provides peace of mind that your case is handled properly and your future is protected. It frees you up to focus on healing and starting your new life.

Don’t Rush The Process

Starting over after divorce is rarely a straight shot. Be patient with yourself through the process. On hard days, when you’re missing your old life or despairing about the future, remind yourself that pain and struggle are temporary. Time does help.

Crafting a new life you love takes time. It’s normal to feel like you’re muddling through at first. However, each hard-won gain is a building block in the new life you’re creating for yourself, brick by brick. Celebrate each victory and point of progress. 

Contact Our Arizona Divorce Attorneys Today

With the right legal guidance and support, you can start over after divorce and create an even better future. Let us help you do that. Reach out to Blake & Pulsifer today at 480-838-3000 or fill out our confidential contact form to begin your journey towards a new life.